Dreams, Nightmares and Self-Actualization
I want to start off today’s entry by recounting two dreams I recently had:
DREAM 1:
I was with Timbaland and TI. I don’t want to go into detail about what that dream involved but I found it very shocking. You know how Sigmund Frued said that dreams reveal our suppressed obssessions? Well, this dream sort of unveiled that.
DREAM 2:
I was in a waterpark with a Christian American couple and we were having fun…when I realized it was a week day and I’d forgotten to call the office and tell everyone I wanted to take take the day off. I was panicking and the American couple volunteered to drive me home or something and all of a sudden we were running up and down these twisting water slides (like the ones they have in the park, duh!). Along one of the bends I saw my old classmates from high school playing basketball. And then, as were ascending a particularly crazy loop I suddenly realized that I was dreaming and I should wake up. The weird part was, before I woke up, I was fully aware that it was a dream and that I’d never gone on AWOl before.
It sort of makes you wonder dosen’t it: why are dreams so illogical that recounting the details often end up embarrasing the person who dreamnt them? Nothing in dream symbolism seems to make much sense, it’s like a very randomly juxtaposed series of images or expreriences. I find it hard to fathom.
Anyways, I’m becoming interested in the language of dreams and it’s possible meanings: are certain dreams meant to warn us of a danger, or a unresolved conflict? Or ( and this interests me the most) are dreams mainly a releasing of our most suppressed fears and desires, like Sigmund Freud claimed?
To find out more, I’m planning to read more books on the psychological aspect of dreams, especially ‘The Interpretation of Dreams’.
To be fair, I don’t remember most of my dreams. Ninety nine percent of my dreams are garbage: meaningless, illogical babble that probably does not warrant much attention.
I have funny dreams and never have nightmares (almost never anways), though occasionally I have frightening dreams, thought they are very rare. The most common ‘upsetting’ dreams I have involve the realisation of an unacknowledged fear: like fear of being late for work, or fear or a dreaded occurence happening again. I remember after I finished high school, I’d have these dreams that I had to repeat my ‘O’ Levels because something happened to the original papers we sat for. I remember the horror I expreienced in that scenario. My heart pounded with the stress. The funny part is (I remember this distinctly) I was also expected to sit for a general science paper for the second exam (General Science is not offered under ‘O’ Levels). I was a pure arts student in senior year FIY.
Why the sudden obssession with dreams? Maybe it’s because I’m trying to figure out who I really am. Though I feel like I understand myself well, at the same time I feel like I don’t understand myself at all: I want to know who I really am. What I am capable of. What my limits are. What my strengths and hitherto undiscovered gifts are. I loved reading books like Robert Greene’s ‘48 Laws of Power’ and ‘The Art of Seduction’ not only for their intruiging historical anecdotes, but also for their insight into human nature and psychology. I learnt a lot from those two book, but perhaps not enough. One of the key points I understood from those books was the theory of the hidden personality: a part of our personality is hidden from other people. It’s a conscious decison we make ourselves. It prevents people from judging us or comprehensing who we really are, or what we are really capable of. The hidden personality is called ‘the ultimate unknowabelness of people’ or something like that. Rather profound. I know from experience that it is really true. Some people made some silly assumptions about me based on their own prejudices. It turned out to be so completely untrue. They were people so confident in their own judgement, they pronounced a verdict largely based on incomplete information. You see, I hid that part of myself, so they did not understand my stance regarding this particular matter (forgive me for being obtuse but I must protect my secrets).
Yes I have a lot of secrets. Perhaps too many. Maybe it’s foolish of me to hide what might end up saving me from myself.
